The Crime of Living Cautiously

From the beginning of this adventure that God has called me to in Spain, I have had people tell me how much of an inspiration I am, how brave I am, how my husband would be proud of me and assorted other things to that effect. Normally, I tell people that I'm not really brave, I'm just doing what I think God has called me to do. And I've had doubts about even that from time to time. Most of the time I am convinced that I am here because this is where God wants me right now. But there are moments when I wonder if I've made it all up. Not very many, but there are some.

Because of other books I have purchased from Amazon.com, this popped up on my recommended list one day. The title was too compelling for me to pass it up. The inside of the book jacket says "Luci Shaw has learned to act with discernment in regard to motivation and calling. She has discovered a path of deep joy and fulfillment by risking the unknown in partnership with God."

I'll share with you a couple of my favorite excerpts from the book and encourage you to get a copy and read it for yourself.

"If I fear failure and the possibility of looking foolish, I cut myself off from reward. Paul wouldn't have pressed "toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil 3:14) if he'd been afraid of looking foolish. But if God is calling me into his service, I will be acting under his authority. My obedience to him makes him responsible for my destiny."

"The life we hoard, clutch, protect, safeguard out of fear or timidity ends up being of little use to us or anyone else, least of all to God and his kingdom. The kind of life Jesus lived would appear to be foolishness to any uninformed onlooker (he had no money, no home, no car, no organizational support). His close friends proved unreliable (with the exception of a few women), and his death was a scandal, a scandal that turned the world around forever.

The cliff edge of our anxiety about the future may indicate that God is calling us to a new and different level of faith. When we walk, praying for guidance, to the edge of all the light we have and breathlessly take that first step into the foggy mystery of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen: either God will provide us with something rock-solid to land on and stand on, or he will teach us how to fly."

What is it that you think God might be asking you to do? Don't cast it aside because it feels too risky or you're afraid your friends and family will think you're crazy or because you're simply afraid. Believe that the God who loves you, more than you know, will go with you into the unknown.

I Passed!

I finally passed the written part of my driving test. Praise God! I am so glad to have that behind me. I was encouraged today to receive an email from a WorldVenture staff member, who used to serve in Spain, when he said that the written test "uses complicated Spanish terminology that many Spaniards are clueless to." Now I don't feel so dumb.

Now I have to take some driving classes and then take the driving test. Perhaps I am being naive, but I think that after driving for 30+ years, this part should be a piece of cake. I will start the classes tomorrow and I guess there is a possbility that I could take the driving test next Wednesday (Dec. 21). If not, then they will give it again on January 4.

I am glad to be able to relax and enjoy my kids while they are here. They arrive a week from tomorrow and I can't wait. I am grateful to all of you who "prayed me through" this. Bless you.

Musings from a fellow missionary

I received these thoughts the other day in an email from a friend that is serving in Ireland. I wanted to share them with you as I thought they were well worth repeating.

A great deal of my time over the past few years has been spent in pursuit of knowing more deeply the love of God. Recently my quest has taken me to a fascinating and challenging book entitled Falling for God: Saying Yes to His Extravagant Proposal by Gary Moon. The author states that “While our journey begins with salvation, we will fall deeply in love with God as we get to know him through taking the time for conversation, becoming honest enough for true communion, and ultimately, trusting his desire for consummation and surrendering to it.”

Musings on conversations between lovers

When [my wife] and I first fell in love we spent untold hours together just talking. It was the way to discover and identify with each other’s hearts—an absolute requirement to genuinely love each other. Our talks could not be interrupted, were give and take (not one-sided), and did not consist of one of us constantly asking the other for something.

How could we truly know the love of God without conversations of the same kind? We cannot. As we continue to examine our own lives and observe those of other missionaries on the field, one thing that seems to be lacking—perhaps in the lives of most of us—is uninterrupted and extended time to be alone with God. I suspect it is also true that most time spent with God probably does not sound like two lovers in conversation. Can you believe that makes God sad?

Prayer that consists of a one-way conversation of asking God for something and is often hurried does not lead to an experience of love. Most likely it results in an experience of elation when we get what we want and confusion, disappointment, or anger when we don’t get what we want. It makes me—the asker—not very interested in what is on the heart of the Father; rather I am just interested in what he can give me. And were I a Father whose only conversations with my son or daughter consisted of them asking for things, I would feel some grief over the fact that they did not really know me nor did they appear to want me to know them.

I have a strong sense that you and I need much more time for “love talks” with our Father. Could we carry each other to the Father to ask for that?

December Update

Mailing address
Some of the items in this month's update will help you keep in touch with me. And I’m hoping as Christmas is just around the corner, you will include me in your holiday mailings. One of things I love about Christmas is receiving the cards, letters and photos that many of you send me each year. And this year I look forward to receiving them more than ever. It only costs 80 cents to send a regular sized card or letter to Spain.

If you need my mailing address, send me an email.

Denver phone #
Through an internet long distance company, I now have a Denver number you can use to call me. I have already shared this with some of you in Denver, but I realized that many of you may have nationwide long distance plans and you could use the Denver number from California or Michigan or wherever. The number is 303-242-5475. If I am not here, you can leave a message and I can call you back. Just remember that we are 8 hours ahead of Colorado and 9 hours ahead of California. I will let those of you in other parts of the country figure it out from there.

End of the year gifts
If you desire to make an end of the year gift to my “Ministry Account” or “Personal Gift Account”, you can send your checks to WorldVenture, 1501 W. Mineral Ave., Littleton, CO 80120-5612 and mark it for Pat Roseman - #639 - MA or Personal Gift. Funds in my MA are used for ministry needs (new equipment, car, software, etc.). Personal Gifts are given to me in their entirety (without the normal 16% administrative fee deducted) but they are not tax deductible.

This month’s quote:
As a Christian I believe that we live in parallel worlds. One world consists of hills and lakes and barns and politicians and shepherds watching their flocks by night. The other consists of angels and sinister forces and somewhere out there places called heaven and hell. One night in the cold, in the dark, among the wrinkled hills of Bethlehem, those two worlds came together at a dramatic point of intersection. God, who knows no before or after, entered time and space. God, who knows no boundaries took on the shocking confines of a baby’s skin, the ominous restraints of mortality....Never again need we wonder whether what happens on this dirty little tennis ball of a planet matters to the rest of the universe. Little wonder a choir of angels broke out in spontaneous song, disturbing not only a few shepherds, but the entire universe.
-- Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

Praises:
1. My kids will be here in three weeks!
2. I had hoped to be able to tell you that I have passed my driver’s test, but I haven’t taken it yet. I am scheduled to take it on Monday, December 5.
3. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my teammates in Madrid. There were 13 of us and we had a traditional American meal. It was a good time to be together.
4. I am enjoying my weekly visits to a friend’s house as I learn to cook Spanish foods and practice my Spanish. One of the ladies shared today that it is a very special time for her as well.

Prayer Requests:
1. Pray for me as I take my driver’s test on Monday, December 5. There is a lot I need to remember.
2. Pray for healing of a bad cold. I have been fighting it for 2 weeks and I think I lost the battle. I woke up this morning with a stuffy head and a cough. I need to be able to concentrate between now and Monday.
3. Pray for the details to come together for a short trip to southern Spain that my kids and I will be taking while they are here.
4. Pray that the 10 days with my children at Christmas will be full of wonderful memory-making times.

What do I miss?

People ask me all the time what I miss from the States. Besides my family, my friends, my church, my job, cropping with my friends, shopping at Mardel's and Borders and Costco, understanding people when they talk to me, and the mountains and trees of Colorado, restaurants are one of the things I miss.

I loved going out to eat with my kids or my friends at Ruby Tuesday, Chili's, Sweet Tomatoes, Olive Garden, Peking-Tokyo, Red Robin, House of Windsor or California Pizza Kitchen. We have a couple of American-style restaurants and we do have McDonald's, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken (although I have not seen one yet), Pans & Company, and Starbucks, but not here in Cuéllar. You have to drive to Valladolid or Segovia and we don't do that often. Besides, in a way, I guess I do have a great restaurant right here in Cuéllar. I usually have at least one meal, and sometimes two, every day at Jon and Kathy's and she is a great cook, so I shouldn't complain.

But next fall, when I am back in the States, don't be surprised if I call you up and ask you if you want to meet me for lunch or dinner at one of my favorite spots. Besides the food, I will enjoy catching up with you and sharing about what God has been doing in both of our lives.